Life Advice I Don't Follow

Travelling through life there will be many good experiences, bad ones and those who are eager to put their oar into your business whether it's warranted or not without considering if it's the right advice for you. Be it through the internet, family, friends or random strangers there is a lot of what you should or shouldn't be doing, it can be a noisy place to be, so here are a few (sometimes difficult) concepts that I don't wholly agree with and the reasons why. What life advice do you want to listen to?

Never Go To Bed Angry

This can be an odd one, making amends with whatever issue is the cause for concern can mean you sleep better and wake up in a happier mood. Which is all great news but rushing to be friends again may mean that you skip over any underlying problems that run the risk of developing into something bigger and more toxic further along the line. Although it may be not the happiest of nights, spending the time to really consider the right and wrongs of the disagreement or simply stepping away from the situation with some breathing space can allow you to come back ready to discuss things with a calmer frame of mind - you may realise you're not 100% in the right. From experience during my teaching degree I was incredibly stressed / worried / tired and unfortunately it came out on the people I care about most, predominately the bf. There were things to talk about and work through anyway but those nights (and tears) helped me in maturing in how I approach relationships, you can be angry but sleeping on the matter can help you see things in a new light.

Follow Your Heart

One of the most cliched statements featured in this post has to be this one, it's cringe worthy and can create false hope. Although this can be applied to many aspects in life, it can work well with relationships (whatever the type). When you catch the feelings for someone it can go one of 2 ways and if you realise further down the line that this isn't the right person to be with it can be upsetting. Jumping into something head first without at least having a small think about it can lead you farther down the rabbit hole than you intended and it can be tougher to climb out. In terms of falling in lust, nearly everyone has tripped for the wrong guy or girl at some point, it happens and for whatever reason(s) it failed to work a saving grace for this process is that you'll come out the other side with a new perspective. Although it can be fun and exciting or wonderful you've finally found a kindred spirit in a new person within your life but not everything works out for the better, not everything we think about ourselves and the world is true so taking a pinch of salt with it can enable you to still try new things but be open to more possibilities (even when it doesn't quite work).

 

Don't Care About What Others Think

One decisive element in building your own happiness is finding your own identity but on your way to being your own person you can be pushed and pulled into listening or considering other's opinion of you (or anything else). It can make you worry, lose yourself or even worse ill. It's natural to want to seek out reassurance, compliments and positive views of ourselves from family and friends, it's something we all do whether consciously or not but it can distract from our own personal development relying on others to prop us up can mean there's no real confidence to our abilities. Everyone needs a person in their corner but it's about finding the right kind of buddy whilst trusting in your own grit. Being yourself without the heavy influence of another voice can be tough and not caring what others think of you can be quite freeing, you can relish in your quirks and the other things that make up you. However the flip side of the coin is that no you don't want to be held down by other's opinions on who you should be or what you should do but you want others to trust in your abilities, this is especially true of your work persona. Whether you're a blogger or work 9 to 5 (or even more hours) you want to be seen as a reliable, competent, knowledgeable, hard working and trustworthy. If people like what you're doing, running your your own race, then they'll be more likely to work with you out of enjoyment. For example great brands will choose bloggers who not only fit with their products but who they know will create brilliant content, a reputation isn't everything but being known for representing yourself in a way that's positive and professional can open doors.

Follow Your Heart

One of the most cliched statements featured in this post has to be this one, it's cringe worthy and can create false hope. Although this can be applied to many aspects in life, it can work well with relationships (whatever the type). When you catch the feelings for someone it can go one of 2 ways and if you realise further down the line that this isn't the right person to be with it can be upsetting. Jumping into something head first without at least having a small think about it can lead you farther down the rabbit hole than you intended and it can be tougher to climb out. In terms of falling in lust, nearly everyone has tripped for the wrong guy or girl at some point, it happens and for whatever reason(s) it failed to work a saving grace for this process is that you'll come out the other side with a new perspective. Although it can be fun and exciting or wonderful you've finally found a kindred spirit in a new person within your life but not everything works out for the better, not everything we think about ourselves and the world is true so taking a pinch of salt with it can enable you to still try new things but be open to more possibilities (even when it doesn't quite work).

Never Stop Working

Yet another half truth that the internet has had a hand in curating, the culture where you have to work 24/7 so you can go half way to justifying your job, lifestyle, choice or income can be a suffocating and overwhelming one. Although I believe in working hard to support yourself and finding joy in what you do however forever playing catch up with our inspirations, comparing ourselves to others and burning yourself out is counter productive. It'll be a step back without even meaning to. Despite all the wonderful support that the internet can offer, the pressure to prove ourselves to the world and to match up to some arbitrary (sometimes self-inflicted) level can be all consuming. It can create guilt that you're not doing what others are and you can compare yourself to what someone else has, it's poisonous and can make  you want to crawl under the covers and not resurface till the end of time. The effect of this can be felt even more so when all your efforts don't work out how you want, it can create a massive aftershock and the come down can make you feel like you've failed - the prospect seems unfair and unjustified especially given how hard you've tried. Running your own race at your own pace is important, this has become abundantly clear with my own hobby of blogging as there will always be 'bigger' bloggers those who seem to have it all but ultimately no-one ever fully understands what goes on behind closed doors and their marathon looks completely different to mine, working myself silly has caused breaks, lack of my own mental health care and a fair few frustrations. There's no denying working is important but pushing yourself to the limit all day every day can be costly in the long run, creating your balance between work and play is necessary to be productive in more efficient ways.

Do What You Love & The Money Will Follow

None of the other advice concepts frustrate me as much as this one, for those lucky enough it does work whether by accident or not and they can make a living out of something they adore but for most people that isn't as feasible as we're led to believe. For me, my 2 most loved passions at the minute are Photography and Blogging, they work well together and some talented folks have made it work but for me it just isn't on the cards right now. Unfortunately doing purely what you love doesn't always pay the bills, it can be a fun goal to work towards but for example many independent business owners that fit more with their interests also have another job to support their dreams. It would be amazing if we all had the luxury of doing what we love 24/7 but unfortunately due to the modern pressures we all individually have it may not be possible but if you're just in it for the money in terms of your job then you need something you enjoy about it. 

What life advice do you not listen to?

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emma.